The Truth You Have to Face

“Grief is the price you pay for love, Myra”

There was a time when my father taught me about a philosophic mind.
“We will grieve not. We just find the strength in what remains behind”

He is the type of person who never showed an unembellished truth about losing someone to death. So I never know what it looks like to proceed a grief and expressing the idea of a bereaved loss.

Looking back at when I was a child, I could create my own magic in the world around me: every person, meadow, houses, and sphere seemed imbued with an infinite age. But now that I’m an adult, I have lost a sight of the world I sued to be able to create, while processing the truth about bereavement and grief.

So this leads to an immense love I’ve witnessed when I was a child.
When the world resent me and believed I was wrongful, there came a person that his conscience approved of me and absolved me from the consequences guilt. He has a very kind soul. My kindred soul.
My grandfather.

He walked like a sun in a glorious land,
He shined the freshness of a celestial rainbow,
He was vivacious, lively, and beautiful.
His appellations are so myriad to me that it will take forever to name him.

But truth is, the world had to cast that remarkable creation that I called “heaven”. The creation which I have seen I now can see no more.
That was the time I know when I lost someone to death, I became profoundly changed by the loss of them. There is no pain as great as the memory of agonizing in present grief.

I acknowledge that the nature is as wonderful as it was when I was young. But the “heaven” the earth used to contain seems to have passed away. But one thing I know for sure is: he taught me love.

Love doesn’t look the same for everyone. It may come in so many forms.
It may come from the tenderness of your souffle homemade cake
It may come from the warmth of a christmas’s bonfire
It may come from the sight of your bestfriend’s eyes
or it may come from the face of your beloved one

For me, it always comes from the indescribable and divine mercy from your family, and the homeliness feeling after seeing them in a long time.

So, that’s the time I’ve realized how important an essential and paramount presence of my loved one is.

Even so.. he will forever live immortally in the heart of my childhood. I will always grant him access without a hitch to my most innocence and sincere memories. He will always have a space in my heart now that he is already happy in Heaven.

I’ll let you know all the stories when I see you again pops!
Will come to see you soon,

Rest in love.

--

--

--

not to impress; I’m writing to express.

Recommended from Medium

A Contemplation on Love, God and Wiener Dogs

Moms Are Magic: Happy (Early) Mother’s Day

ERNIE AND ERNESTINA: The Writer, His Wife, and their Afterlife

How to Defend Yourself with Brutal Honesty

Hostile Past.

Maybe This Christmas

How to Talk to Family Members That Are in Denial About Dementia

Young woman putting up her hands in defensive mode

It’s Hard to Say Goodbye

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Myra Tiffany Pangaribuan

Myra Tiffany Pangaribuan

not to impress; I’m writing to express.

More from Medium

Why you need to seek grief therapy

Even After The Rituals, The Longing For My Mother Remains

How it goes for a “forever” dog

What going through a miscarriage felt like